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The Who-Do Balancing Act:
Adding you, to your list of things to do.
by David Woodward
When was the last time taking care of you was on your list of things to do? For most of us the answer is not often enough, if ever at all.
Most of us know we should make more time for ourselves and often say we will. See if this sounds familiar:
"When I finish this ... I promise, to take a minute or two for me."
This is the promise we make to ourselves or anyone else who notices we look a little tired, a little stressed or ready to have a fit. Then what happens? Of course the next thing, project or urgent issue shows up. So, what can we do to make the time for ourselves? Well, I have a few ideas...
Now before your eyes glaze over with the task of wedging a place for you on your list of things to do, let's take a quick reality check to start shifting your personal and professional balance.
Question 1: When will there be another project or thing to do for something or someone else?
Answer: ALWAYS!
Our lives are constantly filled with things that need our time and attention. When do we take time and attend to us? A more pointed question is “why don't we,” but we'll save that one for another time.
Question 2: When is it a good time to focus on what we want and start nurturing ourselves?
Answer: NOW!
When it comes to taking care of ourselves and getting what we want, waiting is not a good solution. Of course focusing only on ourselves at the expense of others and the rest of our lives is not my recommendation either. But an initial step of “self-indulgence” or “selfishness” can go a long way to remind us why the other things are on our list. We do them so we can do the things we really want to do, where, with whom we want and when we want.
Question 3: If not now and if not you ... then by when and by who?
Answer: The time is now and taking care of ourselves is up to us.
Some might say, "The world will stop spinning, I'll lose my job, everything around me will collapse if I start to focus on me and what I want." Let me share with you how I know this is just not true.
In the early 90’s, I took a three-month sabbatical that eventually lasted over three years. It was very challenging to cut my "responsibility strings," focus only on me, and answer the question "What do I want? " But the world kept spinning, life went on, and I eventually came to see that adding more of who I am and what I want into what I do makes the doing a lot more fun and rewarding.
I learned we don't have to leap off the planet, give up our careers or leave our families to make sure that what we want for ourselves is on our list of things to do. It may seem difficult and selfish at first, but making and taking the time to nurture ourselves is vital to our ability to contribute to others. Consider it a healthy habit to develop.
Four steps to personal and professional balance.
Step 1: What do you really want? (More fun, right?)
Write down what you want. And if you do not know, maybe you know what you would like. Does it support you and not intentionally hurt anyone else? If so, then it is worth having and acting on. It's best if it supports and honors both you and others.
The things you write are examples of what you can add to your ‘to-do’ list: which could include have more fun, have more of what you want and be yourself.
Step 2: What can you do to add more of what you want to your to-do list?
Come up with at least two to three options. Part of our personal power comes from having options. This way we have other choices if we trip at the first turn on our new path of nurturing ourselves. While having a plan is important, having options is vital.
Step 3: What will you do to add more of what you want to your to-do list?
You can have a thousand options of what you can do, but if you won't do them, then strike them from the list. Keep at it until you have several things you will do. Add these to your to-do list.
Step 4: Take action!
Try it out but remember, baby steps. You and the world may not be ready for all of you all at once.
Notice what happens. Over time, add a little of you here and a little more of you there, and see how much better you feel. See how your view of the world changes and how the world's view of you changes as well.
Every day, repeat steps 1 through 4 above.
Please remember: If the balance you have is not the balance you want, taking these four simple steps will help you reach it more quickly. Adding more of "who you are and what you want" into "what you do" improves the balance in your favor. The time to start is now.
Here's to your happy balancing.
Bonus Step: Who do you know that can and will support you in this effort? Making sure we take time for ourselves need not be a solitary effort.
Let someone else in on the plan.
Ask for their support and offer to support them in return. Who knows? There may be some magic that develops in the relationship as a result of the shared effort.
David Woodward speaks, consults, trains and coaches with a focus on personal and organizational growth. For more info conact...
David Woodward @ 703-560-8150
davidw@bigsteps.com.
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Copyright 2001- 2008 David Woodward, All rights reserved
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